I have been serverly lacking in blog post here lately. Not because I haven’t wanted to, because trust me I need to my habit of bottling everything up is not good. It’s just by the time I get home, eat and get settled it’s 10:00 at night. You know the normal USA life, working it away. Sad, but true.

I have been doing ok I guess. I just notice that my fuse is short… And I mean really short.

I hate when parent’s complain about their kids and the responsibility of being a parent. I mean honestly you don’t know how lucky you are. And I will admit I was partly the same way when Bella was here, but now my entire mindset has changed. 

I would give anything to be up all night taking care of her. To have my entire day revolve around her.

And I try to be so happy about survival stories of babies. But I get so hateful at the same time. I mean to hear that these babies have beat all odds, but Bella couldn’t. Is it wrong of me?

Sigh… Maybe one day I will be able to come to terms with things…